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20 Brutal Breakup Messages That Will Leave You Lovesick and Lonely!

Do you remember the end of your first relationship? Of course, you do. We all do. Whether it came to an end over something small or large, the feelings were probably the same: dejection.  While dejection is a tough pill to swallow, we can all get over our old loves by moving forward in life while pretending it never happened. Unfortunately for the people that you are about to read about, their breakups were very public and a little harder to bury with their past.

Today, we are going to take a closer look at 20 brutal breakup messages that will leave you lovesick and lonely!

1. I Don’t Love You, But Here Is Some Pizza.

The night is young. You’ve got pizza on the way. Your loved one said that they are coming over with your favorite movie. But then the pizza arrives. And your loved one isn’t there. And instead of your favorite movie, you find this simple message written in red above your greasy pie.

Of course, we can’t choose how people leave relationships but at least this poor soul had some grease to drown his sorrow in.

2. Batman Fan Slays His Relationship With Cheese

When it comes time to sit down and write that brutal breakup message down, maybe don’t immediately start referencing The Dark Knight. Now we are as big of a fan as there is when it comes to Batman and the world of D.C.. Comics, but referencing the cheesiest ending in the entire series is probably not doing any favors to you or your ex.

Now with that being said, invite your ex to watch Batman Forever and now we have a real brutal breakup.

3. Bad Jokes Can Kill Relationships

Now we can’t know the backstory to this relationship any more than you can. What we do know is that this is the coldest breakup on the internet. Not only does it feature a tired joke, but it is abrupt and concise and leaves absolutely no room for negotiation.

We don’t advise stealing bad jokes, but if you have to end a relationship… Might as well invite them to Dumpsville!

4. Welp, This is Awkward

Autocorrect is seemingly one of the best and worst things to ever happen to mobile messaging. When autocorrect gets it right, it is helpful. When autocorrect gets it wrong, boy does it get it really wrong. This seemingly mistaken case of autocorrect turned into the end of a relationship as Jenna and her spouse took turns not communicating correctly at all.

To think, a relationship could poof over a text message. Just like that. What a world! How do people date anymore?

5. This Is Awkward Part Two

The story of Jenna and her significant other took on another amazing turn. The next series of messages would go on to reveal that Jenna herself had been the victim of a misleading autocorrect. Don’t worry, her significant other already put their foot in their mouth by replying.

Maybe we should learn to take time in between text messages. Nah, let’s jump to conclusions!

6. Paul Is Having A Bad Day (Week, Month and Year)

The end of a relationship can feel like a sensitive and private thing. You don’t want to blast your feelings out into the public, so why would you want your breakup to follow that same path? Unfortunately for Paul, it doesn’t seem like he had much choice in the matter. 

This photo captures one unfortunate Paul who seemingly lost his wife, his dog, and the family business. We have so many questions, where do we start?

7. New Girlfriend, Who’s This?

Have you ever shot a message to your partner only to have them reply with, “Who is this?” Typically this isn’t a great way to start a conversation with someone that you love, care about, and have dedicated your life to. However, to make matters worse, Jessica’s message would be received by her partner’s…. new girlfriend?!

Don’t you hate it when your s/o quits the relationship and moves on without ever telling you?

8. Truly On the Same Wavelength 

Have you ever been with someone that finished your sentences? Have you ever loved someone who seemed to be on the exact same wavelength as you at all times? Well, this clearly wasn’t the case for Jacob and their mysterious S/O. A quick 3…2…1.. game turns into one of the most awkward exchanges on the internet.

Will you marry me or can we break up? Tonal consistency.

9. Break-Up Comedy: Badum Tss

If we had to sit down and manually write out all the ways we wouldn’t want to be dumped, this message would shockingly make it on the list! As it turns out, getting dumped through a ‘knock knock’ joke is a pretty big blow to their self-esteem. How do you bounce back from being let-down by a four-word knock-knock joke?

It’s the perfect way to terminate a relationship that you never cared about.

10. Don’t Cheat With a Dirty Car

Actually, don’t ever cheat on anyone. But if you are going to cheat, you might want to get your car washed first. In this infamous breakup, our local turd Dave has apparently been cheating on his wife while abandoning their kids at home. Don’t worry, it appears that Nikki got the last laugh. 

How satisfying is it to tell your cheating spouse, “You’re broke!”

11. I Am Emotionally Dead Inside

Someone once told a politician, “You aren’t hurting the people that you are supposed to be hurting.” This breakup text sorta has the same kind of energy, doesn’t it? The end of this seemingly toxic relationship granted neither party much in the way of closure. Instead, they slung insults, caused pain, and walked away baffled by the entire exchange.

Humans are weird. We don’t get it either.

12. Wait, What?!

As divorce rates continue to skyrocket, we are sure that we’ll continue getting more stories like this one. Well, maybe not exactly like this one. A husband-and-wife has quite the occasion of crossed wires in one of the biggest break-up text twists of all time.

Sending the wrong text never felt worse. Well, perhaps receiving that text felt worse.

13. Steven the Cheater Loses His Wife

Cheating is bad, full stop. Cheating on a spouse who has the energy, money, and passion to get public revenge? Well, that’s downright insane. Steven apparently thought it was worth the risk to cheat on his soon-to-be ex-wife Emily, but she had other plans. 

Emily apparently found out about the affair and in doing so created one of the biggest middle fingers to cheaters ever! Seriously people, just leave your spouse instead.

14. Learn to Spell, Kids

In the best of times, dating can be tremendously difficult. Let us just underline this, we are not living in the best of times! Thanks to dating apps and the rise of the internet, a relationship can fall apart at any moment for any reason. Pro-tip to people getting back into the dating market: learn to spell, or else you could end up like this Baby.

Ansr meh bby, won’t you learn to spell?

15. Wait, Let’s Wish Again

11:11 is the time for every adult and child to make a wish. Why? We’ve got no idea, but we do it all the same. It appears that this couple was operating on an entirely different set of wishing parameters when they celebrated 11:11. After all, it isn’t exactly inspiring to see your s/o wishing for a way to break up. Real awkward if you wished for marriage with them!

16. Clean, Simple, Concise

There are certain relationships where it is worth finding amenable closure. Maybe you want to maintain a friendship with your ex, or perhaps you’re just a nice person. Either way, this breakup message comes from people decidedly not interested in any real closure. Hey, you can’t exactly dump someone while they are on vacation without expecting a snappy response.

We wonder if they ever found that bridge to jump off of….

17. I Simply Require Culture With Romance

Culture. What is culture? What is culture when someone tells you that you don’t have any? We aren’t sure, but it probably doesn’t mean anything good. In this strange breakup text, one person gets a little too honest with the other while attacking the foundation of their culture.

Listen, we’ve said culture so many times by now that we aren’t sure if culture is really the problem here. It sounds like the sender was just kind of a jerk. Huh, wonder if that’s part of their culture.

18. But Who Makes the Class Clown Laugh?

Now, we don’t know Keenen nor do we know their significant other. With that being said, we have two striking observations to make. One, Keenen needs to take some lessons at the local comedy club. Two, he dodged one heck of a bullet when his ex left him! Comedy is about having fun and if you can’t laugh at yourself or others, well, that’s not very fun!

19. Big Garage Sale, Bigger Deals!

Driving down the road on a fine Saturday afternoon and you see this sign appear. Obviously, you aren’t in the market for a cheating wife but you still have to check out the sale! Garage sales are a great way to offload old possessions that we don’t have any use for. We’re not sure that they are the best place for airing private grievances to your neighbors. 

Heck, maybe that’s exactly what garage sales are for and we just never knew!

20. Moving to Australia

Long-distance relationships can provide extreme stress to couples who are not prepared for it. Many couples will opt instead to take time apart if not outright move on from the relationship when they are forced to traverse long distances. While there is no right and wrong way to explore consenting romance, we’re certain that this is the wrong way to end a relationship.

Sure, your ex will get a great piece of cake. Sure it looks delicious and will help assuage their immediate sadness sugar cravings. But trust us, they will never forget a cake emblazoned with a breakup message. That image will be locked into their head for LIFE.

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The Giant Garbage Monster in the Baltimore Harbor

Danielle S

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If you happen to be in Baltimore and looking out on the water, don’t be surprised if you see a gigantic contraption with cartoon eyeballs chugging along in the water. You have been blessed with being witness to the Mr. Trash Wheel doing its job.

Trash interception, or the process of diverting pollution and garbage from ending up in natural locations or general landfill, has been a fundamental function of cities for decades. In particular, big cities have been challenged with improving their garbage removal as well as finding ways to recycle better. The Mr. Trash Wheel is one of the latest, more creative approaches developed in Baltimore, Maryland, particularly targeting the waterfront area that is seen by thousands every month. And, it’s also quite popular. When not gobbling up trash on the waterways, the Mr. Trash Wheel has become a popular target for social media selfies.

Design-wise, Mr. Trash Wheel operates as a floating garbage interceptor catching floating debris and consumer trash in the Jones Fall water path, a part of the Baltimore Inner Harbor water system. With an over-emphasized mouth and goofy eyes, the interceptor already has a fan club among locals in Maryland, and the city management is quite pleased with its actual garbage removal performance as well. Had it not been for this particular interceptor, thousands of pounds of floating trash would simply make its way out to the Atlantic Ocean affecting coastlines up and down Maryland state and further.

John Kellet can take credit for the Mr. Trash Wheel. A local business founder of Clearwater Mills, he began to become personally irritated by the amount of trash Kellet would witness after every storm, with the new drainwater pushing trash through the Harbor to the ocean. So, he decided to do something about it. With a bit of thinking and creativity, Kellet realized the market was entirely missing a viable tool for job. So, his entrepreneurial side kicked in, and Kellet took on the job of creating a solution.

Plastic has been the biggest factor of the problem. It doesn’t degrade, it floats, and it’s poisonous to wildlife. So, Kellet targeted that part of the trash environment first. Since that first development, the Mr. Trash Wheel, has since diverted well over 3 million pounds of plastic garbage, as well as other floating material picked up in the Harbor. The tool has been so effective, three more units were created to help keep the Harbor clean as well.

Interestingly, the Trash Wheel design is not very high tech. It incorporates a simple water paddle that utilizes the water’s own motion and power to work. As the water pushes against the mill paddles, it powers the unit’s operation (or with solar power), which scoops out track and floating material from the water and puts in on a conveyer track. This in turn pulls the trash up and out of the water and into a catch container for removal. The feed occurs via bouy net that traps the debris as it floats in the water towards the Trash Wheel. The trash container then just gets periodically emptied while the Trash Wheel works 24/7. Even more noticeable, the units can be managed remotely, increasing the pump function to turn the wheel as needed.

The benefits of the Trash Wheel in Baltimore’s Harbor have been immediate and noticeable. The device was extremely effective, and the floating trash levels dropped significantly after just the first few weeks. With the results so obvious, the additional three Trash Wheels were ordered by the municipality and put into action elsewhere in Baltimore’s waterways.

The story just goes to show as bad as consumerism and trash can get, people can be just as creative and effective in cleaning pollution up if they put their mind to it.

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BackHoes coordinated to “Dance” to Metallica

Amanda J

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Dance is an art of meaningful selected sequences of human movements performed rhythmically. Due to the change in industrialization, today, dance is practiced by many machines such as robots, which imitate human moves.

Aside from imitating human rhythmic movements, dance bears some profound message, including expressing an idea or emotion and realizing thoughts or feelings.

This art of actual dance has existed in India for more than 6200 years B.C, and while studying the first dynasty of Egypt, it has been there since 3000 B.C.

Much archaeological evidence gives relief showing a kind of dance or body language as Egypt’s culture advanced. Also, some paintings were made depicting musicians and dancers.

In the early days, Americans, Australians, and Africans originally danced for spiritual entertainment reasons. People will dance at funerals weddings after a harvest. However, some of these reasons still influence dance to date.

Today most people dance for entertainment purposes, keep the body fit, celebrating something significant like a wedding, winning, or birthday while others use dance as a source of income.

Recently a Quebec firm has taken dance to a whole new level with its fleet of construction vehicles performing a synchronized dance to a classical version song.

This construction firm gave a new purpose to the words ‘heavy metal’ by performing a dance routine using backhoes, something we have never seen before.

Montreal heavy metals and backhoes make an excellent natural combination. This is after all the is equipment heavy and made from metal. Recently a Quebec construction firm has decided to take the pairing a step further.

According to the video published on Youtube, workers of Bertrand Ostiguy Inc., a Sheffield based excavation firm, decided to take their excavating trucks through some unusual dance

Moves, which were all strategically planned and written for an orchestra play version of Metallica’s classic ‘Nothing Else Matters.’ By Finnish symphonic metal band Apocalyptica.

Imagine the excavators’ dip, spin, bow, and pivot in concert, displaying a rare epic show at either construction sites or Metallica moshpits. The video on Youtube was shot by a young 14-year-old teenager Julien ARES whose uncle owns the company.

“For a very long time, my uncle had this idea. At a glance, we did a zoom for Christmas, and the idea popped out about doing the dancing excavators; we all laughed hilariously at the concept but honestly, we were thinking about it all night.” said Julien.

At a glance, I wanted to do something slow and rhythmic since the excavators are gigantic, and they are annoying slow, and because of this, I wanted a slow song. Unfortunately, the initial songs had too many high notes, and I wanted something with more bass. That’s when my uncle suggested he look up at the legendary hard rockers.

Surprisingly at this young age, Ares has been making and shooting videos for his older brother’s company. Julien Ares’s ambition is larger than a few dancing backhoes.

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Real Life Dopplegangers of Cartoon Characters

Liz L

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Have you ever met someone you thought you knew? What if that person turned out to be a dead-on ringer for a cartoon character? What would you do? Would you say something to the person about it? Don’t be surprised if someone beat you to it. There are dozens of folks walking around in real life that have a surprisingly accurate resemblance to cartoon characters, both classic as well as modern. Here are some examples.

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Austin Restaurant Turns to Witty Pandemic Signs for Laughs

Jolie

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When the United States shut itself down under the auspices of the coronavirus pandemic in early March 2020, few people realized what was going to happen. Now almost a year later, the coronavirus pandemic has continued to rage on and people are growing increasingly frustrated, scared, and restless. When will quarantine measures be allowed to go away? When will a vaccine appear?

With so many tough questions hanging over the heads of not just everyday citizens, but also business owners. More than 100k restaurants in the city of Chicago have closed down on a long-term basis since the beginning of March and the city of Austin, TX, is probably not far behind. This is where our story takes place, at the front door of the El Arroyo, a popular restaurant located in downtown Austin.

The El Arroyo was established in the 80s and they’ve retained their sense of wonder and edgy comedy ever since. Laura Schulte works as the social media manager for El Arroyo and she has been a major player in the production of their comical signs. Schulte says, “The signs bring a lot of laughter”. While previous signs had made jokes based on pop-culture references, the team at El Arroyo has been focusing more on bringing laughs through their pandemic references this time around.

If you have been an active internet user for the past eight months, which you probably have, you’ve likely seen some of the signs that El Arroyo has been placing up over the past several months. While these signs are largely for laughs, they also play an important role in reducing stress levels and preventing anxiety from becoming an overloading burden.

One sign was put up that read, “I Never imagined I’d go up to the bank teller with a mask on and ask for money.” That is the kind of sign that we can all look at, agree with, and share with friends for a laugh. It is true! How dramatically has our world changed in the better part of the past eight months? A year ago if we told you that you had to go to the bank with a mask over your face, you’d be blown away by the mere suggestion.

While some signs are focused on the pandemic, other signs take larger jabs at 2020 as a whole. One El Arroyo sign read, “Have we tried putting 2020 in rice” which is a joking reference to what individuals do when their phones get wet. Another sign read, “Just remember, someone out there is quarantined with your ex.”

What do you think of signs like the ones being posted at El Arroyo? Are you a fan of sharing a few laughs at the expense of the pandemic? Do you think that these signs go too far or are you down with a few fun laughs?

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Willy Wonka Style “Golden Ticket Hunt” For Candy Factory Launched

Liz L

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Everyone loves contests, especially if there’s some money involved and David “Candyman” Klein has created the perfect contest for all citizens of the United States.

Klein is the founder of The Jelly Belly Jelly beans and Tricky Treasures, and his contest wants you to get out of your house to win some money. All you have to do is join his ‘golden ticket’ hunt. Go to familiar places in your state/region, and find the lucky ‘Golden Ticket’ disguised as necklaces in various secret locations. 

Finding each treasure hunt guarantees you about $5,000, so get ready to go hunting. However, that’s not all – you also have a golden chance to win another prize, which is the key to one of Klein’s candy factories.

Yes, we know what you’re thinking and you’re not wrong- the story does sound familiar. The hunt takes the form and plot of famous film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or the 1971 musical Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

If you’ve seen the classic film “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory,” you know how the story works.

In the film, Willy Wonka is looking for someone to take over his business in his standard Chocolate Factory. He met with five kids that had initially won the ‘Golden Ticket,’ hunt, and one of them was a special boy named Charlie.

Wonka offered a lifetime supply of sweets to anyone that will win, and to win, the kids had to stay until the end of his tour of the factory. The kids loved candy, so you can imagine that the prize really meant a lot to them. 

In a plot twist, every kid that tried to eat or eat a lot of the sweets during the tour experienced a series of weird events- every kid except Charlie. At this point, we’re just going to assume you know what happened next.

However, unlike in the movie or novel, adults can join the ‘Golden Ticket’ search. 

If the contest excites you and you think you stand a chance of winning, you only need to pay a token of $49.99 to join the contest. This token will help in narrowing down your search area, so you know exactly where to look for the Golden ticket necklace. 

Note that each state in the United States can only accommodate 1,000 participants, so you have to hurry up even if you have the clue to the Golden ticket’s location already. 

If you come out victorious and find the Golden ticket, you can claim the cash prize, or get a chance to search for what Klein calls the ‘The Ultimate Treasure.’ According to him, this treasure is the key to one of his candy factories. Other benefits include all-expenses-paid trips and free education in a candy-making university. 

The time for the treasure hunt has come upon us. Are you ready to rumble?

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