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Funny or Really Uncomfortable Airport Signs

If you’ve ever flown through a major domestic airport or an international terminal on your own vacation somewhere far away, you’ve probably seen an airport sign. Chances are you were so tired from the flight, you may not have stopped to read them carefully, however. However, despite today’s technology and ability to communicate digitally, airport signs still serve a purpose, guiding weary travelers to their next contact before crashing from jet lag and travel exhaustion. And then there are the special signs.

The Charitable Parent-to-Be

Definitely intended to be embarrassing and raise eyebrows if not questions from all around within visual range, this sign is a keeper. Of course, the holder has to play the part seriously to give some credibility. And when the poor passenger gets off the plane and see this one, offering to become the parent of a cheating partner’s child on the way, it’s not surprising if the passenger just keeps on walking past.

You’re In the Army Now

Most military folks who’ve been on duty for an extended tour take a bit of time to transition to the civilian side. So, it’s fair and thoughtful to communicate in terms they understand clearly in the military world. Trying to expect a soldier right off the plane to promptly respond to ambiguous directions is a big no-no. Instead, spouses and partners should be direct, clear and used terms that leave no guessing what might happen, as in the case of this wife expecting all the details from her husband.

Hobbies Can be Compromising

Whether its for social media posting or just plain admiring all the great things they do and skills they have, selfie sticks are darn popular. However, to everyone else they border on irritating to downright obnoxious. Now, most people don’t admit they have one in polite company. Unfortunately for Simon, his partner decided to tell the whole world.

Darn, Those Kids

When kids reach adulthood, they have all sorts of fun at the expense of their parents. This young lady decided to really embarrass her dad by being a bit literal with her airport sign. Disregard the fact that the message could be completely taken wrong, especially when seeing the two of them together with a clear age difference involved. It’s a good thing Dad had a sense of humor here. Otherwise, he might have gotten arrested.

What Happens When Mom is Not Looking

Moms don’t get a break either. The kids will throw down both parents given the chance. In this case, Mom apparently is driving Kaden nuts with all the additional attention the girl has to dedicate to her mother at home. Poor Dad, he’s apparently in for the works when he does get home, being guilt-ridden to never travel again.

At Least It Wasn’t Your Fault

When things happen to family relatives, particularly siblings, the whole family gets involved. In the case of Matt, he gets to be embarrassed by a pair of hoodlum-looking knuckleheads who are quite proud of themselves and their airport message. However, if the question gets asked who’s dating Matt’s sister, it’s a good bet both will point in the other direction in front of Matt.

Um, Just Keep Walking, Make No Eye Contact

When a fellow the size of barn holds a sign looking for the other fellow who got his sister pregnant, that’s not the time to jump up and down with your hand raised yelling, “Me! Me! ME!” This fine gentleman look robust enough to flush any such obtuse minded person down the toilet head first as a result, and we’re pretty sure nobody in airport security will argue or get involved.

Tired of Pickups?

This young lady has apparently given quite a bit of patience to a partner who just keeps needing help. And she’s had enough of being the doormat. The message is pretty clear, but we’re curious what other folks think? In fact, we very curious how reader might just interpret the sign altogether. And we’re even more curious what they might think about the fellow who’s getting picked up in such an instance as well. It’s all very interesting!

California? We Don’t Need Stinkin’ California!

The folks from the Golden State are well aware they are not very popular in the other 49 territories of the Union. In fact, many avoid admitting they are from California when traveling. In the case of Jody, however, the cat was already out of the bag. Except nobody told Jodi not to take the flight, so it looks like she’s in for a rude surprise on arrival.

Relatives to Avoid

Most people dread being made the butt of a joke at an airport. But some have it worse. They have enthusiastic relatives who know no bounds in how to be cheesy. For Mokie, his big head will be plastered for everyone to see on arrival thanks to his family. It’s just the thing someone wants to see coming through the arrival gate after a 10- or 12-hour flight. Oh joy.

Keep Your Health Issues Private

For Sarah, she never should have mentioned some internal difficulties on the way to her destination. But leave it to her arrival party to make sure she knows things have been taken care of. Oh wait, Sarah didn’t tell anyone anything, did she? Oops.

Holidays are the Best

There is nothing better than a thoughtful friend or partner with a margarita waiting when you get off the plane. You’re not going to get that kind of a mixed drink on the flight. But a thoughtful friend will make sure you’re taken care of as soon as your feet hit the ground, or your chin, depending.

Whose Kids are These Anyways?

There’s share-riding, and share-working, and even share-computing. So, it would make sense a service would come along for share-parenting too. Except, the question is, would there be any business for such a product? In the case of these three orphans, nobody is walking up and claiming the sign apparently. Hmm, back to the drawing board.

Congrats on Graduating! Oops, shhh….

Anyone who graduates from a program should definitely be congratulated. They have worked hard, achieved a lot, and it should be recognized. However, not every graduation needs to be celebrated in the middle of packed, public airport. This relative didn’t quite get the memo, did she?

We Can’t Make This Up

In the category of what not to have as a sign in this pro-diversity, political sensitive era, this young lady is being very literal, almost too literal. Apparently, it’s her friend who fits the description however, so she’s likely to get a lot of characters from New Jersey on the next flight arrival stopping at her sign.

Okay Now, Back to Work

Vacations are wonderful, but they should be abused. So, it’s everyone’s responsibility to make sure the arrival knows he or she is now back on the clock as soon as they are home. This nice sign makes the message unmistakably clear. What’s a loving family for?

Some People Never Grow Up

Parents who have kids over the age of 18 dream for the day their offspring move out and begin to take care of themselves. After 18 years, it’s about darn time. However, some kids just don’t want to transition to a responsible role in life, and in the case of this oversized toddler in an adult-size onesie outfit, things are way overdue.

Military Service Comes With Surprises

Recruiters often warn rookies when they first come up after a tour things are going be a bit different. There’s all sorts of transition issues to work through adjusting back to regular life. However, some issues are bit more dramatic than just figuring out where the PX is in the shopping mall. In fact, some surprises come with probably two decades of responsibility in the same package!

Long Names are No Problem

Friends fans will immediately recognize the line on this airport message as being borrowed from the character, Phoebe, and her post-marriage title, “Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock.” This fine fellow decided to play along with his sweetheart and murder her new marriage name as well. He even got the hyphenated part included in there.

The Difference Between Humans and Dogs

The difference between a human and a dog is like this: you silly, stupid, two-leg. You left me. I will now commence to disembowel your favorite sitting place that has your smell on it. See, I missed you! Now the question is, who bought the puppy in the first place?

I Am Your Father, Yes You Too

Rebecca is a lucky girl. She has a major Sith lord for a Dad, and he’s got this amazing ability to lift suitcases with the wave of a hand and choke irritating airport security people who get a bit too frisky with the pat-downs. Even better, he has an amazing can opener lighter that cuts through anything like a laser Ginsu knife! Pretty cool, huh?

Parent Connections to Kids

In the wild, parent animals know immediately the call of their offspring, even if there are 5,000 similar animals in the same location. With humans, things work a little different. Human parents have no special hearing or smell abilities, but they can always rely on their doofus kids to do something so obvious it could only be their human offspring and no one else.

The Value of a Good Education

It’s a great feeling as a parent to know the thousands of dollars you spent on your child’s private school education went to a good cause, especially when it was enough to enjoy all-expense week long trip in the Caribbean during peak travel time. In this case of this reception party, there’s a bit of work needed on the penmanship.

It’s Better Than Wetting His Pants in Excitement

You have to love it when your reception party is really excited to see you show up. In fact, they are so excited they express their fondness and reception to you in writing for everyone to see. In the case of this fellow, he really gets personal about how he feels about your visit. Maybe you should skip him next year.

Don’t You Want to Spend Christmas With Us?

Again, in the category of signs that would make people just keep walking and avoid eye contact, horrible relative possibilities making it clear what holiday mishaps might occur can be more than enough to drive someone back on the play they just arrived with. Who cares about sings about all one wants for Christmas is their partner; just run away!

Shotgun Wedding

The term “shotgun wedding” is reminiscent of when a young fellow would get brought in front of everyone with a blushing bride waiting and any attempt to turn around would be met, literally, with the wrong end of a shotgun from the farmer father or relatives. In an airport, this welcome sign could very well have the same effect in front of everyone watching. What happens if Tom hides in the bathroom, though?

Everyone Wants to be a Limo Driver

Being a professional limo driver takes a lot of skill and experience, especially driving across a big town. So this fellow might be in for than he thought if someone takes him up on his offer, especially if he can’t find a hotel from the back of his head, which said Italian lady might then start smacking in the car with a book from the flight.

Cheesy

Are we in a 1970s dive bar or what? This sign is literally ripped off from a bar one-liner that probably only still gets airplay on Saturday Night Live reruns. For the arriving party, they might have to think twice about being seen in public with this sign-holding character.

All That’s Missing is a Broadsword

Hey, you might be pretty proud to be called McGregor too if your family had that name, especially after the popularity of the Highlander movie franchise. Thankfully, no lightening bolts are going to start flying in the middle of the airport with this sign. But don’t be surprise if some yahoo decides there can only be one, and starts attacking the sign holder with an impromptu drinking straw bamboo sword!

It’s All About the Food

Eating and relationships go together like peanut butter and jelly in a sandwich. People are always referring to each other as some kind of food reference term of endearment. Of course, when people start getting into the salty and spice foods, things start getting a little weird on the communication front as in this case. Just exactly how much gravy is involved in this reference? Ok, don’t answer that.

Tour of Duty

When soldiers are off on an assignment, it’s a natural habit to mark down the days before the tour is over and it’s time to head back home. Short-timers are often razzed because everyone else at the base gets jealous. Apparently, clock-watching isn’t just reserved for the soldier side. The waiting partner at home has something to say about it too.

Freaky Guy

Yes, that’s your father in that sign. Don’t back away, go say hi. No, you can’t ignore him. I know, I wasn’t thinking about that either when we got married, but he his your father. Listen, young lady/man, you are going to march over there and give your father a hug or you’re going to be grounded for the next month. Oh, don’t give me that, you love your Xbox too much. Get over there.

Faith in Humanity

When someone goes and puts out an ambiguous sign of this nature at a crowded airport, there’s a lot of hope in the positive side of humanity going on here. Let’s face it, the idea of being “hot” is very subjective, and with all the arrivals, this young lady could find herself suddenly being inundated with a lot of arriving fellows who definitely think they are “hot” too.

Uh-Oh.

In the digital age nothing is forgotten or buried forever, especially when someone has access to your smartphone. In the case of this arrival, the sign pretty much says it all. If he or she isn’t bleary-eyed from the trip, trying to avoid being seen might be a good tip for personal survival for the next 72 hours.

Dumb People are Really Honest

If there’s one thing about dumb people is that they are some of the most honest people in the world. They have no problem with an ego, and they are very clear about their limitations to anyone who is interested in knowing, as in the case of this young lady who can’t even spell right. Too bad she knows you.

DAT’s RILLY LEET DOOD

For those who play video games, gamespeak is common because it takes too darn long to spell and write out everything properly, especially with a Playstation or Xbox controller as your only input device. So, abbreviated slang is regularly used. In the case of this fellow, he seems to assume his party knows exactly what he’s saying as well. That might be a very big assumption in an airport.

It’s All in the Name

You know what happens when you share an identity with a well-known celebrity? Your “loving” relatives take full advantage of it for their own benefit. So if you got left at the airport and when you Skype your dad to ask what’s up, don’t be surprised if you see his new “son” in the background who looks an awful lot like a Chicago Bulls retired basketball player.

I Don’t Know You

Younger generations are no longer familiar with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but anyone who has seen the movie would recognize an Oompa-Loompa on sight. And when it’s your relative in the outfit, you’re really screwed. Expect to be delayed by another hour or two as everyone over 40 wants to take a selfie with the green-haired weirdo picking you up.

Direct Messaging

Marketing teams can take a few tips from kids. They can make it pretty darn clear what they want, leaving nothing to the imagination. This type is staking out his or her territory right in front of the arrival gate. God help the poor soul who makes the mistake of stepping in front. The ankles are the first to go.

Being a Bit to the Point

Lots of kids meet their parents for the first time after a tour of duty, even though they have technically been on the planet for a few months already. In the case of this new face, it’s been an entire lifetime, just like what the sign says. Honest!

All in Day’s Shift

Being an actor on a popular TV show comes with a lot of fan attention. However, when you end up having to hold the very sign at the airport you’re arriving at, something’s wrong with the picture. Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family somehow got hornswoggled into doing all the manual work here. And his agent wasn’t even consulted!

You Two Must Be Teachers

Leave it to teacher-types to figure out away to make us all learn another lesson, even in the airport after a long flight. These two were clearly conspiring; the guilt is all over their faces. And that would make sense being related.

Follow the Instructions

Keeping directions simple when a party is arriving from a long trip is a smart thing to do. People are tired, probably dealing with a time change, exhausted, and ready to just shut down. As in the case of this sign, the details are simple, direct and easy to implement. Now can you get it right this time?

Extra Baggage, Surprise!

And you thought the military was going to be hard. Wait until you get hit with the midnight feedings and formula work every two hours for the next six weeks. Soldiers return to a new surprise in the family household often realize they just traded the front line for the graveyard shift. Then again, the situation is their fault, technically.

Let’s Just be Clear Here…

This airport sign is getting a laugh from just about everyone getting off the plane, especially given the fact that the young lady is definitely in her second trimester if not the third one. Too bad for Jimmy. He sat in the back of the plane and hasn’t seen the reception yet. Just wait ‘til the rest of the plane gets a load of his face in the lobby.

Hmm… This Could Get Ugly

This fellow is pretty darn serious, and the message doesn’t leave much to the imagination. In fact, the sign is so ominous, it might actually scare a couple of passengers getting off the plane whom it might apply to as well. Guilt is a very powerful anxiety-inducer. He’s not smiling; that’s really not a good sign either.  Oi vey.

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